The Roles of The Family

 

I like to think that the roles in a family are like comparing the Dutch-oven to the sourdough starter. They are completely different. However, they are able to work together to create a beautiful outcome. I believe that men and women have different roles in the family to help everyone grow and flourish.

Fathers are like a Dutch-oven. He creates a hard, protective shell around the dough. He shields it from the direct scorching of the fire, creating a safe environment where the bread can grow without being burned by the world too soon. I've seen the power of having a father or father figure be the protector in a family. These elements of a father's role can help children mentally develop.

Fathers are providers. He is the one who secures the quality flour, the water, and the salt. He ensures the "pantry" of the family is stocked so that the work of growth has the raw materials it needs to begin. Fathers provide the necessities of life, such as money, emotional needs, support, etc.

Lastly, fathers are like the recipe. To preside is to lead with vision. He holds the "formula"—the long-term plan for the baking. He monitors the temperature and the timing, ensuring the family follows a path that leads to a successful outcome. As fathers lead their families, they are better able to connect in unity and purpose, driven towards their values.

Mothers have extremely important roles in a family as well. They are like sourdough starters. She is a living, breathing culture of care. She takes the ingredients provided and infuses them with life. Through her influence, the family isn't just a pile of flour; it becomes a living, growing entity. She "feeds" the spirits of those within the home daily. Mothers have a beautiful role in nurturing. This is where she is able to help her children and husband with passion and love. Now, don't get me wrong, this does not mean that the mother does all the work in nurturing and caring for the children. However, I believe that mothers have been given a divine gift to bring that type of love needed in their families.

Next, mothers are like steam. In a Dutch oven, the bread needs moisture to stay soft enough to expand. The mother provides the gentle, hydrating atmosphere of empathy and care. This keeps the children (the dough) from becoming "crusty" or hardened too early, allowing them to expand to their full, soft potential before the final baking. This type of caring doesn't mean being a passive parent. The desire is to show the children who they can become with support and love.

So how can I fulfill my role to the fullest?

The most important thing to do is to be yourself. Everyone may have slightly different gifts or strengths. However, children need their father and mother for different reasons, but at the same time. With unity in marriage and in separate roles, nothing else will matter. If my desire is to create a loving and safe environment with my spouse, then we will be able to help our children develop into their best versions.

Without the father’s protective pot and presiding recipe, the dough would be a shapeless mess or scorched by the heat. Without the mother’s nurturing life and caring steam, the bread would be a hard, lifeless brick. Parents are made to work together. There are differences between the different roles and experiences that each parent can bring into their marriage and family. However, they are needed in unity and love.