Children Needs From Parents

 

I have asked myself, "How can I be the best parent to my children?" I’ve realized that I should think of my approach not as following a rigid, store-bought recipe, but as the process of becoming a Master Baker. Furthermore, I am not just making a loaf of bread; I am creating the environment where the dough can rise. Here is how I translate these parenting pillars into my "kitchen":

Offer Contact Freely

In baking, a cold oven does nothing; the heat must be constant and reliable for anything to grow. This is my unconditional presence and connection. I don’t "turn on" my love only when my child does something right. My warmth is the baseline environment that allows them to feel safe enough to expand and take shape.

Teach Them to Contribute

A cake isn’t just a cake because it exists; it’s a cake because different elements—flour, eggs, sugar—work together to create a structure. I want to teach my children that they are necessary ingredients in our family. By giving them age-appropriate chores and responsibilities, I am showing them that our "family bake" won’t turn out quite right without their specific contribution.

Use Choices & Consequences

Baking is a science. If I choose to double the salt or skip the baking powder, the result changes. I let my children "measure" their own actions. If they decide to stay up late, they will be tired the next day. I am not "punishing" the dough; I am simply showing them how their actions naturally change the outcome.

Practice Assertiveness & Forgiveness

Kneading requires a firm hand to develop the gluten, but I must also know when to stop and let the dough rest, so it doesn’t become tough. My assertiveness is my firm "No" and my clear boundaries. It provides the structure my children need to hold their shape. My forgiveness is the rest period. If a batch burns, I scrape the pan, learn what went wrong, and start the next baking with a clean slate.

Encourage Skill Building

Nobody starts by making a five-tier wedding cake. I want my children to start with a simple stir and move toward complex techniques. I provide the tools and the workspace. Likewise, I encourage them to crack the eggs themselves, even if it gets messy. I value their process of learning the craft over a "perfect" final product, knowing that with enough practice, they’ll eventually be able to bake without a recipe at all.

As a parent, I want to focus on helping my children progress through love, guidance, and support. I strive to be an "active parent," which requires constant reflection, so I can help each child in the specific way they need. As I look at my children as individuals with divine potential, I know that with my constant support and unconditional love, they will flourish. I allow them to experience challenges and growth, but within those challenges, I provide the space and protection they need to feel safe enough to make mistakes.

I deeply resonate with the phrase, "I love you too much to let you stay the same." To me, this means that showing love does not mean just letting my children have whatever they want. In fact, true love means showing them that we can all continue to grow into the best versions of ourselves. Life is uncomfortable with growth, but it can become beautiful as well. We are all learning—especially my children—and they need my help to maintain a safe, loving environment that allows them to grow into the adults they are meant to be.